How to start your own CFNM party
I decided to put together this page to hopefully answer questions that other women (and even men) may have about CFNM parties. Hopefully I can help other women get started with their own CFNM parties. It's easy and I have come to realize just how fun these parties are, far more fun then I even imagined when we first started. CFNM is NOT just a big sex party or orgy like many think, not even close. You could obviously make it that way if you wanted, and I know there are many types of CFNM parties out there today, and all are quite different from what I've seen or heard from others. Our parties are not a big sex party and we make sure they do not become that. Keep in mind you can apply your own rules, it's up to you to define you own party and choose your own males to participate, but I will go over my rules below. The one general rule in all of them is that the male is completely naked and the woman are all completely clothed. These parties are really alot of fun, and we actually have a waiting list of women that want to join our next party! I will try to answer all the questions below.
What really is a CFNM party?
CFNM stands for "clothed female, naked male". It's a woman's party where all women are fully clothed and the male (usually just one, sometimes more) is completely naked. His job is to do whatever "any" woman at the party tells him to do. His primary role is to bring them drinks and wait on them, although it's guaranteed the women will be requesting him to perform other "duties" throughout the night. Although at our party there is not much sexual contact between the man and the women, this is not a G-string party, the man will have no clothes at all. The women may sometimes grope or fondle him, but usually that is to make him hard or keep him hard in front of all the women. Often that is accomplished by rubbing his stomach and thighs but women can do whatever they want. It's "reversing the tables" where the women are usually viewed as sex objects, whether its strip clubs, dancing women, women in magazines, etc.... where the woman is always wearing little or no clothing and the men are all viewing. The CFNM parties give the women a sense of power, and a sense of domination over the male, as the male is completely naked while all women remain clothed the entire party. The male usually feels very embarassed and humiliated, some more then others depending upon the male. Don't be surprised if you make him blush alot, it's all part of the party and the women love this. It's also easy to find males for these parties, as even though they know the rules and know they will be naked, humiliated, embarrassed, and any other possible emotion you can think of, many men want to be able to say they experienced this at least once in their lifetime, as nothing in their life will ever allow them to know what this really feels like unless they are put in this situation with many clothed women.
So the man is naked the whole time?
Yes. Naked from start to finish, everything off.
The man does everything he is told?
Yes. We go over this with him over and over again before he's selected. We do "not" want aggressive males or exhibitionist, etc. We actually get to know the man first through discussions over the internet or on phone, etc. This isn't a situation where we meet him, he's invited, and the party is next week. We have alot of men right now that want to participate in the next party. We choose who the next participant will be. The male must agree to do everything he is told by any woman at the party. We do not cross the line and tell him to do anything that would physically hurt him in any way, or get him arrested, and we tell him that up front. Anything else is fair game, he absolutely must be willing to do what any woman tells him to do at the party no matter how embarassing or humiliated he is feeling.
What things are considered over the line?
For example we will not have another female with a strap on and using it on the man. I'm sure some CFNM parties do that, we keep ours more professional then that. We will make him vulnerable and very embarassed but not abuse the man, thats just not right and our party is not that way. We will not send him outside naked where he can be arrested, those things are obviously over the line.
So all the women have their clothes on, and they remain clothed the whole party?
Yes. We actually recommend the women coming to our party do not wear revealing outfits either, as this makes the man feel even more vulnerable. We have had times where women have exposed their breasts to the male, but thats just temporary to see how he "reacts" to that ;-) When we invite new women to the party we make sure they understand these rules and to dress appropriately, but we do want to dress comfortable because this is a party for the women.
Does the male get hard?
Of course, we make sure he does as thats a big part of his humiliation and embarassment, and it's alot of fun for all the women there to witness this. He will not only get hard but most of the party he will remain erect as the women keep it that way, it's much more embarassing to the man not only being naked in front of women, but being hard in front of them also. As I said there is not much sexual contact going on, but usually you get the man hard just by talking dirty, or rubbing his thighs and stomach. As I said the women can do whatever they want. If he's not getting hard the women may show their breasts to him and watch his reaction, and maybe fondle him a bit if he's still not hard yet, but thats usually a last resort. All men are quite different, we've had some men get hard immediately when their clothes are taken off, and we have had other men stay soft. You can tell the shy ones ;-) ... they usually are nervous and not hard, but we make sure that it changes quickly. One of the funnest times of the night always seems to be when the man first comes in the room (already naked of course) and he's soft, and as he goes around meeting the women it's fun to see which one makes him get hard. Sometimes you can tell he's trying to fight it and he's nervous, but when there is nothing to hold it down or hide it in any way, the outcome at our party is inevitable ;-)
Where do you meet the men for your next party?
You would be surprised how many men want to do this. We turn away many of them. The men that say "pick me, pick me, pick me" have no chance at our party. We don't want ex-male strippers or exhibitionist, or any men that are arrogant or aggressive in any way. You can find them on various sex sites, chatrooms, messageboards, etc. It's actually pretty easy once you start looking for it. Most of them drive from a ways away, some have even flown in to participate in our party. We also talk to him live on webcam before the party gets close. This is key as you need to make sure you know what he looks like. You can also get to know him better this way and find out what type of man he is, how far he's willing to take it, and how far he's willing to test himself :-) Only 1 or 2 women tops should get to know him this way first though, as you want him to feel very uncomfortable the first time he enters a room full of women. As I said it may be very embarassing and humiliating for him at the party, but there are many men that want to say they experienced this at least once in their lifetime. No matter how much a man reads about it, he will never really know what it's like until he's stripped naked and put in this siutation with many clothed women. Nothing can prepare a man for this unless he goes through with it.
Is the male ever from your area?
No, always from further away. I'm sure he doesn't want to see 2 co-worker women arrive to the party, and he's standing there naked and hard. Thats why the male always comes from some other location. I would actually like to see how embarassed he would be and see the look on his face when 2 co worker women come in though. But then again I do want him to be able to go back to work again the next day ;-)
Does the man have to be young and in great shape?
No, we have had many different aged men participate, but obviously he can't be a slob. Remember this is eye candy and a party for the women, it's fine to be older as long as you look like you eat right and take care of yourself and workout. You don't have to be 5% body fat, but you can't have a big beer belly either. Look at it as a reason to get in shape, it's healthy and you shouldn't need a CFNM party to convince you to eat right and workout a bit :-)
What requirements do you need from the man?
We tell the male these things up front. He must be completely sober. He must do anything he's told by any woman, as stated earlier. No bartering or thinking about it, if she tells then you must continue and do it. The male must shower before arriving, he should smell good. Must be well trimmed , it's fine to have a hairy chest as woman love playing with that ;-), but keep it trimmed and keep "everything else" well trimmed. Figure it out guys, men don't want a woman who has a big hairy kitty, and women don't want that from a man either. Trim it! Get yourself a trimmers at the store and keep it well trimmed. It doesn't matter if you are trimmed or shaved, but you will not participate if you are not one of those 2.
Do the women make the man masturbate in front of them?
I'm sure you already know this is a yes. Usually at the end of the night when the party is ending. It's not uncommon to tell him to start masturbating a bit earlier in the night and then have him stop immediately and continue serving drinks with a hard on. Making him masturbate a bit first is good way to make him fully hard while serving drinks, just make sure he doesn't do it enough to cum, thats for the end of the night. There have been times where the party ended and we didn't make the man masturbate, it varies on the party and the man participating of course. Normally if he seems somewhat like the shy or nervous type, then we will always make him masturbate in front of all of us ;-)
Do the women make the man cum?
No. We have talked about it though and will probably do this in the future. Usually he has to masturbate and we all watch him cum, as that is very humiliating for the man. In the future I'm guessing there may be a mixture of masturbation or having a woman give him a handjob or a tied down handjob (like you see in those video clips where the man is restrained, given a handjob, and then when he gets really sensitive after cumming, the women continue to stroke him and watch him squirm. We haven't done it yet but this may be in our future parties. These video clips are all over the internet if you haven't seen them yet, seems like alot of fun ;-)
Don't the women want to grope the man during the party?
Yes, some do and many rub the mans stomach and legs. Some will stroke him a bit to keep him hard throughout the night. However we don't want alot of sexual contact, thats not what the party is about. The real benefactor is the husbands and boyfriends, because the women go home at night in a very special mood ;-)
Are all women single at the party?
Some single, some married. The married women do tell their husbands and I encourage them to do so, and as I said the women do not have to grope the male. The husbands really get the benefit of this when the women go home that night.
Do you video tape the parties?
No, as I stated we keep it very professional. Some women bring video cameras to the party, but they need to leave them at the door. If the male agrees then I would have no trouble allowing this, but since we normally have fairly shy men as the participant, they are often quite embarassed and do not want to be video'd anyways.
Is there more then one man?
We have tried more then one, but men are really alot more comfortable when other men are around. Men are much more vulnerable when they are by themselves in front of the women, so we prefer just one man. I guess it would be fine if you had a large enough place to keep them apart, but thats up to you. I know other CFNM parties do it.
What is the process for getting the man naked?
This is not strip show, some CFNM parties may be and I'm sure many women would enjoy that, but not ours. We don't bring in strippers, we recruit men that are nervous or somewhat shy as we all just seem to love that, it's our style. Getting the man naked is one of most critical points of the party, because once naked he can't back out. If he's considered overly shy then as soon as he gets in the door he is stripped naked, there is no time for him to discuss leaving. He goes from being nervous outside to being inside and naked, no "in between" time. His clothes are bagged and taken away to another room so he has no idea where they even went. Out of sight, out of mind, all done very quickly. If he's more confident and you are sure he won't back out, then we often bring him into the room in front of all the women, and have a few women dance all over him and slowly remove his clothes during the dance.
I want to host a CFNM party, can you walk me through it?
Sure, I will also give you the critical moments to help you get started. It's up to you to recruit the guy of course, get the type of man you want, your style, the look you want, etc. You can find him on various sex sites or dating sites, many free sites to choose from so spend some time recruiting and talking to him. I normally float the CFNM idea to him and explain it a bit to see how he reacts. If he's a little shy about it and doesn't think he could ever do it, then normally I convince him that he can :-) I've gotten good at this, and like I said many men want to experience these emotions, and there just isn't any way to do it unless you are put in that situation for the first time. Assuming you have the man arriving and you have your party with women waiting, you want to get him on the phone, make sure he's not too nervous and keep him reassured it is an experience he should participate in.
Now that you have it that far, here's how it plays out. 2 women meet him in the yard as he arrives, all other women wait inside. These need to be the 2 women he has been talking to previously as he is comfortable with them (Those also are the only 2 women he has met or talked to from the party, it's important that every other female is a complete stranger to him in the house, as this adds alot of uncomfort to the male. Wave him in so he knows he found the right place. Once he arrives you walk him to the door and have him kick his shoes off outside by telling him no shoes in the house (this is a critical step, he has to get naked anyways so get his shoes off now). If he seems very nervous then once he steps in the house, all other women should "not" be visible to him yet, they should be in another room. Remember he might be nervous and seeing a bunch of women staring at him may make him get "cold feet". At this point the 2 women strip him naked as soon as he's in the door. Use 2 women because it can be much quicker and much more intimidating to him, one gets the shirt off him and the other gets his pants undone and pants and underwear off quickly. Have a garbage bag waiting by the door. Quickly bag his clothes, shoes, everything, and one of the 2 women quickly disappears with his clothes in the bag and stashes them away in a back room somewhere where he has no idea where it even went. At this point he just went from being somewhat shy and questioning if he can do it to being completely naked in the house and his clothes gone somewhere. There was no "in between" time for him to get "cold feet" or to think about backing out, as now he's naked and the party can start. Now bring him into the room where all the women can see him and have him go around and meet all the women. Whether it's 4 women, 12 women, or 30 women, it makes the male extremely awkward and humiliated in front of all the women when he is the only one naked. Don't be surprised if his face turns somewhat red ;-) If he's not very shy, then it's good to bring him in front of the women and do a dance/strip as I mentioned earlier. Keep in mind you can do this however you want or even experiment with other techniques. Share your best ideas with other women and see what works best for them also.
Do the women attending the party have to be young and all look good?
Absolutely not! We prefer many different types of women. We want older and younger, and different types of women as this makes the man more humiliated in front of all that variety. Nothing can prepare a man for that.
How many women are attending your parties?
It all started with 5 of us. Quickly it grew and is usually in the 20's now. It's alot of fun also because all of us get along so good and it's a very mixed crowd of ages and people. They like to party! We bring in a few new ones now and then as some people don't show for parties, but the same group is normally always there.
Do you have these at your house?
We rent a house for the party.
Do some men not show?
We always talk to him regularly up until the he arrives, but usually only 2 women. I believe it's critical to meet him outside, when he drives up he needs to be reassured he's got the right place and all the cars may make him nervous on top of it. We want to car pool as much as possible ;-) He does not know how many women will be inside, this often causes a small shock when he first walks in naked. ;-)
I am a female, how can I attend the next party?
Sorry but there is already a waiting list and we just can't let too many women in the house. The party is already getting quite large. You can always start your own though, it's much easier to get started then you think. The key is also to have alot of people you love partying with and get the techniques down with practice. Party practice makes perfect and you will get better and better at it. :-) Keep in mind also that you can define your own type of CFNM party, it doesn't have to be exactly like mine. You may want different type of males, maybe you want the stripper type, everyone likes different things.
I am a male, how can I participate?
You can't. If you are the type that comes begging to do it then you probably aren't our type anyways. There are alot of other CFNM parties, and many different types, I'm sure they would love to have you :-)
Can I contact you?
Not here, this is just a information page. I am always looking for the next male for the next party, and I'm out there right now talking to them ;-) Plus I don't want the guys that read this page, it's better if they don't know alot of the information I have given you here.
One last thing, can you give me some of your CFNM ideas?
Sure. I love the moment the male enters the room. It's the first time he sees all the clothed women and it's the first time he's naked in front of all of them. I also love the moment when he first gets hard. Usually thats quite embarassing for a man to be naked and talking to a woman, but to get hard and not have a way to hide it is alot of fun to watch. All men are different, and we have a little game we always play to see who can make him hard first without touching. Another great thing is of course making him masturbate in front of everyone, men are very vulnerable to that act and this is another great moment. Another one is having some women arrive an hour after him. Once he's remotely comfortable after being around the women in the room, get him good and hard when others are arriving and when there's a knock on the door tell him to answer it. It's great seeing his reaction as he opens the door for women arriving and he's fully erect during it. Another one is of course having him bring drinks to women all night, thats a given. One time we told the male to masturbate for 10 seconds everytime he gets a new drink, because he must be fully erect to walk back with the drink to the woman. I can go on and on, but I think you get the idea. The more parties you do the more ideas you come up with. You can also go to google and find many, many ideas with a little research.